 |
My New Dog (cont.)
. . . . . .
I'm telling you, having a computer in Starbucks is the next best thing to having a dog. Actually, it's better. With a dog, you have to get up early to let the dog out. And you have to go outside regardless of the weather.
• • • •
• •
“Men do seem to make passes
…at girls who wear glasses.” |
With a computer, all you have to do is type. Or even just look like you're thinking about what to type. Every once in a while, you should take off your glasses and stretch dramatically, signaling an opening in your availability for conversation.
So I almost bought a dog.
A little dog.
A purse dog.
And many friends tried to dissuade me.
They said a purse dog would be too yelpy and yippie. They said a purse dog would have annoying dental and health problems. They said a purse dog would pee all over the house. But most importantly, they cautioned me that guys don't like little dogs.
Now I'm not saying I wouldn't stoop to the level where I'd buy a dog to get a guy. Stranger things have certainly happened in my life. Like when I pretended I ran marathons in order to hook a runner. Man, doing a twenty mile training run just to impress a cute guy is tiring. But not ineffective, I must say.
Anyway, I looked high and low for a purse dog.
I looked on the web. I checked out the purse dog fan clubs. I perused the local shelters. I even checked shelters in other states.
Turns out purse dogs and shelters aren't the best mix.
Now, if you want a lab or a golden retriever, definitely go to the shelter. Tons of those. And they're SO friendly. Just dying to go home with you.
But purse dogs don't seem to end up in shelters. And when they do, they have issues. Like they can't be near any children under the age of thirty. Or they eat cats. Or they can only live with a woman who has lap availability twenty four hours a day and never allows men into her house.
So I looked again at actually purchasing a little pal.
Guess how much....
No really, guess....
Okay. A thousand. Eight hundred if the breeder's in a hurry. Seven hundred if it's a puppy mill in a strip mall.
So ladies....a little math and logic:
You can spend a bunch of bucks on a purse dog that guarantees men won't talk to you.
Or, you can take that same amount and buy a laptop.
And, if you buy now, Compaq's got a mail-in rebate....
One more tip: men do seem to make passes at girls who wear glasses.
Next page in this
article
1 | 2 | 3
|
